Good Riddance
by jojodacrow
Summary: Duo loves Hilde, but will he let his past destroy them before they have even had a chance?
1. Good Riddance

Good Riddance by jojo_da_crow 

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Gundam Wing and I don't own the song "Good Riddance," Green Day does.  This is an old fanfic, but the old GW addict in me decided to post it again. I originally intended to write a few more chapters to this, but I have decided I like the angst. The beauty of the imagination is that you can make your own ending to this. ^_^

Hilde looked at Duo sleeping on the couch and a guiltily feeling came over her. You shouldn't sneak out like this. One part of her mind told her. But if you don't go like this you'll never leave. The other more reasonable side of her mind stated.

*Another turning point a fork stuck in the road* 

She thought about the reason she was leaving. "I just can't stay in the same house with someone who doesn't love me.  All that I would be able to do is think about him if I stayed. How could I ever have a real relationship if I did that? I've been here too long and now I have to move on."  

_*Time grabs you by the wrist directs you where to go_

So make the best of this test and don't ask why* 

I guess it took me a while to figure that one out but now that I have, I have to act on it. But why does it have to be so hard?  At least I'll have Sally shoulders to cry on for a while. It's great that she's going to let me stay with her. Hilde walked over to Duo and brushed the hair out of his face.  Tears began to form in her eyes as she thought about a future with out this crazy, wonderful guy.  Will I ever get over you Duo Maxwell? Can I ever love someone else as much as I love you right now, in this moment?

****

_*It's not a question but a lesson learned in time*_

Stop Hilde, you can't have him. He doesn't love you like you love him. It is the right path you are taking. Follow through with it for once! Hilde leaned down and kissed Duo on the check. She then brushed away her tears and walked toward the door to pick up her bags knowing that this was the right path. I have to follow through with it. Besides he won't miss me that much; that is until he has to cook for himself. Hilde smiled to herself at that thought and picked up her bags.

_*It's something unpredictable but in the end is right_

_I hope you had the time of your life*****_

I hope you remember our times together Duo. I know I will. I had the time of my life with you.

****_*So take the photographs and still frames in your mind_

_Hang it on a shelf in good health and good time_

_Tattoo's of memories and dead skin on trial.*****_

Hilde took one last look at the room she was standing in.  There are so many memories here; I can't believe I'm just going to leave them like this. Hilde began to think all the times she has spent there with Duo. I remember last Christmas when everyone was here. Duo loved it.  She remembered that all the ex-pilots had seemed so normal that night. They laughed and talked like they had never seen a day of pain. 

Unfortunately you've seen too much in your life haven't you Duo?  Hilde knew that beneath that cheery exterior was a very hurt man.  Sometimes she could see it in his expressions and when she would ask about it he would just tell her. "Don't worry about it Hilde. Hey, I'm hungry let's go get something to eat. My treat!"  That's another reason she had to leave. He obviously didn't trust her. Sometimes at night she would cry for him. She cried the tears that she knew he couldn't.  Snap out of Hilde, you have to leave. He can take of himself. Maybe if you leave he will deal with his pain. 

_*For what it's worth it was worth all the while_

_It's something unpredictable but in the end is right_

_I hope you had the time of your life*****_

Hilde headed for the door and opened it. She reached in to her purse and pulled out an envelope. She laid it on the table and with out turning around she walked out of the door, tears streaming down her face. 

_*It's something unpredictable but in the end is right_

_I hope you had the time of your life*****_

It wasn't to long before Duo woke up.  He stretched a bit and then realized that he had fallen asleep on the couch. He had done that a lot lately. It had been harder and harder for him to sleep lately. He would never admit it but his dreams were beginning to get worse and he knew he was going to have to talk about his past soon before it ate him alive.  Hilde, she would listen to me.  I hear her cry sometimes for me. But what will she think of me? Will she ever want to love a street kid that caused the deaths of so many people?

Duo had been in love with her for a long time but didn't know how to tell her. The whole concept of love was so foreign to him. The only people who had ever loved him were Father Maxwell and Sister Helen.  I'm going to have to tell her soon. I'm going to loose her if I don't.  Duo made the decision to at least talk with her about his past, he might not be able to say he loved her yet but it was a start. It was the least he could do. He knew she had been wondering about his past for some time. He had seen the hurt in her eyes a few times when she had asked him about his thoughts and he hadn't told her.  I'm such an idiot sometimes. But I'm going to fix that problem today!

It was at this point that Duo noticed a envelope on the table with his name on it.  It looks like Hilde's writing. I bet she had to go do a few errands and left me a note telling me where she went.  Duo opened the note and began to read.  It wasn't long before he dropped it. It floated to the ground unnoticed.  It can't be true. I just read it wrong.  Duo raced to Hilde's room.

"Ha, Ha! Hilde You got me. That was really funny, I almost believed it. Hilde?" Duo banged on her door. When no one answered he forced open the door. There was nothing left in the room. She left me.  Duo sat on her bed and for the first time in many years he cried.                

*It's something unpredictable but in the end is right 

_I hope you had the time of your life*****_


	2. Sunday, Bloody Sunday

Chapter 2: Sunday, Bloody Sunday

_Authors note: Wow, after several years... here is the next part. I know most of you had given up on me and this story. Well I found this old file with sorting through a few floppies, and I read over it. I decided it would be a shame not to publish it. The song is by U2 and it is called as one would guess "Sunday, Bloody Sunday."_

_Warning: If you don't like religion you probably won't like this part of this story. It focus' on Duo and him dealing with his past._

It didn't look or feel like he expected. It seemed quieter and more holy than his memories recalled. _I guess things seem a lot different to an 8 year old._

He looked around and noticed the changes that had been made since he had last saw this place. He hadn't thought about the fact that they would rebuild, but they had. The new church was larger than the old one and looked much like the old one had. One notable difference glared at him, the cemetery that stood to the left of the building. He knew why that cemetery had been built. It was the reason he had come.

It was as if some unknown force was dragging him towards that place. He didn't want to go there but he knew he had to. He had to deal with his past so he could have a future. He had discovered that the day that Hilde had left. He had lost something good that day, he hoped he could get that back. But before he could he had to deal with what lay in that cemetery. That thought scared him. Yes, for the first time in many years Duo was scared. He was scared of facing his past. He was scared that this would be one battle that he couldn't win. By this time he had reached the gate to his past. He opened it and stepped inside.

Before him were rows of tombstones. He walked down the rows reading each one as he passed it. Each bore the name of a person that had died in the Maxwell Church Tragedy. There were so many, 245 to be exact, and they all stabbed at his heart because he knew he had caused their death. _If I hadn't stolen that Mobile suit, maybe they would be alive._

_**I can't believe the news today**_

_**I can't close my eyes and make it go away.**_

_**How long, how long must we sing this song?**_

_**How long, how long**_

_**Tonight, we can be as one, tonight**_

He sank further into his guilt and misery until he came upon the graves he was looking for. They stood side by side and he read the names that were engraved upon them. They had guided and directed him along the path to his future.

"I'm sorry Sister Helen and Father Maxwell. I tried to help but I just couldn't." Duo's knees buckled and he fell to the ground, clutching Sister Helen's tombstone in the process. He closed his eyes as the sorrow overwhelmed him. His body shook from his pain, but he never made a sound as he poured out his feelings.

_**Broken bottles under children's feet**_

_**Bodies strewn across a dead end street**_

_**But I won't heed the battle call**_

_**It puts my back up, puts my back up against the wall**_

He remembered what it was like after they had bombed the church. There were bodies everywhere. So many bodies... _I killed them all. So many people died because of my stupid mistake. Where were you that day God? Why couldn't you save the ones that were so dedicated to you? _

"Duo Maxwell? Is that you?"

Duo's head snapped up and looked at the man who was speaking to him. He was about his age, with short blond hair and brown eyes. He was dressed in Priest's clothing and wore a cross around his neck very similar to Duo's. There was something vaguely familiar about him, but Duo couldn't place him.

"Yes? Do I know you?"

"You mean you don't remember me? After all that trouble we got into, I would think you would remember your friend Allen Moore." The man smiled at Duo and gave him a little wink.

"Allen?" Duo couldn't grasp his meaning for a moment. Allen Moore was supposed to be dead. He was supposed to have died in the Maxwell church Tragedy. "What are you doing here? I thought you had..."

"Died? No I survived, barely but I survived. Unfortunately, not all of me made it." At this statement Allen lifted his priest's robe to reveal an esthetic leg. "I lost it after a soldier decided to use me for target practice. But I showed them. I got a new leg and I've been good as new ever since."

Allen reached out to help Duo up but noticed the pain that Duo's eyes held. "Duo what's wrong?"

"God, I'm sorry Allen. It's my fault that this happened to you. It's my fault that all these people died." Duo felt himself tearing up again. _No, no more crying. It's time to stop feeling sorry for yourself and start trying to make amends for what you have done. _

Allen gave a short laugh and grabbed Duo's hand and pulled him to his feet. "And, how do you figure that it was your fault? I don't remember anyone accusing you of that crime." He began walking toward the church Duo following along beside him.

Duo gave Allen a long look and spoke in a quiet voice. "You don't know the real story behind the tragedy do you? You would hate me if you did."

At these words Allen looked over at Duo. "Why don't you tell me about it then. I am a priest now. You can confess if that's what you feel you need to do, but I assure you that in the end you will find it wasn't your fault."

_**And the battle's just begun**_

_**There's many lost, but tell me who has won **_

_**The trenches dug within our hearts**_

_** And mothers, children, brothers, sisters torn apart**_

"Then I guess I should tell you the story then, I owe that to you... That day some men had come to the church. They were part of a rebellion that had decided to strike back against the Alliance. They wanted a Mobile suit and I thought that if I got one for them, they would leave us alone. You see they were hurting the Father and Sister Helen. I just wanted them to leave us alone." Duo stopped where he was and looked Allen in the eyes. "I just wanted them to leave my only family alone, but they wouldn't. So I did what they wanted, I went to go get them a Mobile Suit so they could attack the Alliance. I didn't know that the Alliance would know I was from the Church when I stole it. They must have sent those soldiers to stop the rebels. By the time I got there everyone was gone except Sister Helen. I watched her die."

At this point Duo was sobbing and Allen took him and gave held him in his arms like a father would a small child.

"Don't you see now? It's all my fault that the soldiers came and killed everyone."

"No Duo, I don't see. You don't know the whole story. I think you should come with me to my office. I have a story of my own to tell you I think your soul will be more at ease once you hear it."

Duo followed Allen into the building and down a small corridor. After a few turns they entered into a small room. It looked much like the old office that Father Maxwell had occupied. It made Duo think of the many times he had been in that office, Allen along side him. They had gotten into so much trouble together when they had been kids. He still couldn't believe that Allen was a priest. Of all the people he would have thought would have chosen that path he was the last person.

"Looks a lot like the old man's office doesn't it?" Old man was what they had called Father Maxwell behind his back. They had loved him dearly, but they couldn't help poking a little fun at him at times.

"Yeah, I was just thinking about all the trouble we used to get into. I was also trying to figure out how you of all people ended up as a priest."

"It's a long story, but what it comes down to is this: I saw people in need and I wanted to help them. It's what the old man would have wanted. I couldn't save the world by being a Gundam pilot like you so I did the next best thing in my mind; I got into the business of saving souls. Now I realize it was the best choice and now the most important in my eyes." Allen stared hard at Duo and a small smile formed on his lips. "Enough about me, I know your tricks Duo Maxwell. I'm not going to ignore your problem and let you walk out of here guilt ridden. You might as well sit back and listen to my story"

Duo looked at Allen and sighed. He had hoped that he could find peace here. He thought that would involve forgiveness from the people he had hurt. Maybe he would find more here in this small office. "Go ahead and tell your story, I'm listening"

Allen leaned forward and began his story.

"I was on my way to the kitchen to try and steal some food from Sister Catherine when she wasn't looking when I heard the commotion from the soldiers. I saw them hit Sister Helen and noticed the old man on the ground. I was scared so I hid from them behind a door. I was sure it was a pretty safe spot and I wanted to hear what was going on. Then I saw you and I got really scared. There was my best friend and the only other family I had ever had in danger."

"I heard them asking about the Mobile suits and I also heard you say you could get them one. I thought to myself, 'If anyone can get one of those darn mobile suits, it's Duo. So I watched you leave, expecting them to chase you or to at least send someone after you, but they never did. They just laughed and called you a stupid kid."

"Then all hell broke loose. It hadn't even been 3 minutes after you left before the Alliance started the attack. Someone must have tipped them off to the rebel soldiers' whereabouts. They didn't even ask questions, they just assumed that the church was helping the rebels. They started shooting everyone they came across, even us kids. It was horrible. The old man woke up at this point and he tried to stop them but they just shot at him. He preached peace until the end. I ran out when they shot him. I watched him die."

"Before he went though he told me this, 'You and Duo were the closest thing I ever had to children. I cherished every moment I had with the two of you. Stay clean and remember God loves you and He is there for you. Make me proud with your lives son. Tell Duo that, he's such a rambunctious boy but God has great plans for his life. You too Allen, I love you boys.' Then he was gone. Sister Helen was taken away about this time I don't know what happened to her because at this point they decided to have "a little fun" as the called it. That's when they told me to run and essentially used me for a target." Allen looked at Duo and knew that his story had not made the impact on Duo that it was supposed to. He was holding his head between his head and his shoulders shook. Allen knew his friend was still in pain.

"Don't you understand Duo, it wasn't your fault."

"How can you say that? Did you just tell that story? It was all my fault. If I hadn't alerted the Alliance about the rebels by stealing that Mobile suit..."

"Duo!" Allen interrupted him with a shout, and then said in a quieter voice, "Duo, think about what I told you. The Alliance got there not 5 minutes after you left. They knew before you even left to get the suit. Nothing you did caused the deaths of those 245 people. IT WAS NOT YOUR FAULT!!"

Duo looked at Allen in disbelief for a moment and then his words sunk in. It was as if a heavy burden was being lifted off of his shoulders. "It wasn't was it? I never knew, just always assumed it was my fault. I couldn't comprehend another reason. The old man really said that about me? He loved me?"

Duo sat stunned in his chair for a few minutes just soaking in this news. Slowly a new feeling began to rise in him though, one he never knew existed: hatred.

Allen watched him with a small smile on his face; unaware that Duo was about to loose his control "Do you feel free yet Duo Maxwell? Is your soul free from these deaths? I believe that is what God wants for your life."

It was these last words that made Duo loose his temper. He jumped from his chair and began to shout at Allen. "What God wants? What about all those people that died? Why did He let that happen Allen? I don't understand why He would abandon the very people that loved Him so much? All those people whose lives were forever changed. Don't you get mad at him Allen for what happened to you?"

Surprised by Duo's reaction it took him a moment to gather his thoughts. "I won't lie I used to get mad but the I realized something very important. It was His plan. I have a question for you Duo; what would you have become if you had stayed at the church with Father Maxwell? Do you remember what the old man wanted you to become?"

Duo sat back down and looked at his friend intently. "A Priest he wanted me to become a priest. So what? I doubt I would have ever fulfilled that role." He waited patiently for Allen's next words.

"But the fact of the matter is regardless of what you would have become it wouldn't have included an option of being a Gundam pilot. You wouldn't have left the church for a long time. Sister Helen and Father Maxwell were our family and they would have made sure you had a good life. How did you come about being selected as a pilot?"

"I was a stowaway on a ship. I hadn't eaten in a while and it looked like they had enough food to feed about five starving nations, so I stole away on the ship that carried one of the Professors that built the Gundams. What are you getting at Allen?"

What I'm getting at is the fact that you would have never made it onto to that ship if it Sister Helen and Father Maxwell had lived. You wouldn't have been hungry; they would have fed you. Don't you see? God put these people in your life long enough to teach you the things you needed to know and then he took them away when it was time for you do the things that needed to be done. If you hadn't become a Gundam pilot would the war be over right now? How many more people would have died because you had never fought in the war. Too many to count. In the end it was for the greater good and for peace that he died. Father Maxwell would have wanted it. His life was sacrificed for the very thing he wanted the most: peace."

Duo sat in silence for a while contemplating this. This was a concept he had never contemplated before. All the images and emotions ran through his head as he contemplated Allen's words. The feelings became overwhelming and a headache began to form behind his eyes. Rubbing his temples, he looked at his friend.

"I think I need to think about this on my own Allen. What you are saying... it makes sense. But I can't quite comprehend it yet. I think I need time."

Allen smiled at his friend. "You know we still have an orphanage here. The children are in school right now, that's why it is so quiet right now. Now that the war is over, we don't have quite as many children to look after. Now that families feel safe again and are able to provide food for their families, they have been taking in some of the orphans to live with them. Of course there is also the fact that a lot less people are dying from attacks now, so the result is less children left with out families. Since there are less children though, we do have a few rooms empty..."

Duo looked up at the priest with questioning eyes. "What are you getting at?"

"I'm just saying, you can stay here for a while, if you need time to think. I promise I won't force anything on you. I'm just offering you a quiet place with your family." Allen looked at Duo when he said this, and large smile on his face.

Duo stared at Allen, and realized what he said was the truth. He had always felt that he was alone in the world since that fateful day, but now he realized he did have a family. He would always have a family here in this small church. His eyes shimmered for a moment.

"I think I will take you up on that offer... But I won't call you Father, not after the things I know we did a kids."

Both men laughed at this, remember the pranks they used to play. Allen sobered a bit and looked at Duo.

"Then call me brother."

Duo smiled. "Deal."

At this the two men stood and hugged each other. Duo knew at this point that things would change for him. No longer did he feel burdened by his past. He was finally beginning to understand his place in the world, and he knew with the help of his family, that he could begin to reclaim the pieces of his life he had lost. He was a long ways from being able to win Hilde back, but now he had hope. Hope was the key to everything...

_**Wipe your tears away**_

_**Wipe your tears away**_

End note: Okay so here it is. I hope to write the last part soon. But, then again you know how long this one took. At least you guys have hope! har har! Ducks rotten fruit Thanks for reading. Please review if you liked it. :)


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